What causes stress during
pregnancy?
It's only natural to feel
stressed at some point during your pregnancy. After all, expecting a baby is a
life-changing event. Apart from the responsibility of bringing a new person
into the world, there are plenty of other things which may be playing on your
mind.
You may be worried about your baby's health, scans and test results, and birth itself. It could be that your journey to work is exhausting, or you're anxious about finances and the costs involved with a new baby. Or maybe you're concerned about your new baby putting pressure on your relationship.
You may be worried about your baby's health, scans and test results, and birth itself. It could be that your journey to work is exhausting, or you're anxious about finances and the costs involved with a new baby. Or maybe you're concerned about your new baby putting pressure on your relationship.
How can I help myself?
Whatever it is that's making
you feel stressed, here are 10 positive steps you can take:
1. Make time to rest
Take time out for yourself. It's good for you and your baby, so don't feel guilty about it. At work, find somewhere to put your feet up and relax during your lunch break. Once you're home, try to cut down on chores.
If you're feeling exhausted, go to bed early. Your body is working hard to nourish your growing baby and needs all the sleep it can get.
If you're already a mum it can be very hard to find the time to rest. It's a good idea to ask your partner, a friend or grandparents to look after your child or children for an afternoon, while you have a well-earned break.
2. Talk about it
If you're worried about whether your baby is healthy, whether he will be born safely, or whether you're up to the task of parenthood, you're not alone. You can turn to your midwife for reassurance about your baby's well-being. But talk to your partner, too. Discussing your worries can make you both feel better.
Don't forget that friends and family members can provide good support. You may meet other mums-to-be at the same stage of pregnancy as you, perhaps at an antenatal or parenting class. It's likely that at least some of them will be having the same feelings as you.
You could create your own support network online. Why not share your concerns with mums-to-be in the BabyCentre community?
3. Eat well
Eating well is good for your mind as well as your body. A healthy diet which includes plenty of omega-3 essential fatty acids, vitamins and minerals, can lift your mood.
It's thought that the essential amino acid tryptophan can raise levels of the chemicals melatonin and serotonin in your brain. Melatonin and serotonin help you to sleep well and boost your feelings of well-being. Tryptophan is found naturally in many foods, including nuts and seeds, which are easy to snack on.
You don't have to do anything extreme with your diet to make sure you get all these helpful nutrients. Good sources include oily fish, fruit, nuts, seeds, dairy products, lean meat and poultry, grains and vegetables.
4. Get some exercise
Exercise can really improve your mood. It's quite safe to exercise during pregnancy, as long as the activities you do are not too vigorous. Swimming is ideal, as it keeps you toned, without being too hard on your joints.
Pregnancy yoga not only tones and stretches your body, but teaches you breathing, relaxation and meditation techniques. These techniques are good for helping you to quell your anxieties.
Try to build exercise into your daily life. At work, get up and walk around regularly, especially if you are desk-bound. Pop out at lunchtime for some fresh air, even if it's only for 10 minutes.
5. Prepare for birth
You may be worrying about what labour will be like. How will you handle the pain? How will your partner cope? Learn more about what happens during labour by signing up for antenatal classes. And have a look at our labour and birth section.
If you're having a planned caesarean, talk to your midwife or obstetrician about what will happen on the day. Drawing up a caesarean birth plan can help you feel more confident and in control.
If you are having your baby in hospital or at a birth centre, you may be able to visit the delivery suite beforehand. If a real tour is not an option, a virtual tour should be on offer. Knowing what to expect from the place where you will have your baby can set your mind at rest. It will also help you draw up your birth plan.
If your fear of birth is so overwhelming that you would rather have a caesarean than a vaginal birth, talk to your midwife or doctor. With the right support, you can be helped to overcome your doubts.
6. Prepare for family life
It's quite natural to worry about how having a baby will affect your relationship with your partner or how you will cope as a parent. Parenting is something you learn along the way. If you have any friends with young babies, you could spend time with them to pick up useful tips.
Perhaps you're stressed about your finances, job, relationship or housing? See our list of organisations and support groups you can contact for advice. Take a look at our section on caring for a newborn, to give you a head start.
7. Commuting strategies
Most women carry on working until just a few weeks before their due date. Commuting can be a major source of stress, and it gets worse the more heavily pregnant you are.
Ask your employer if you can avoid rush hours, perhaps start and finish earlier than usual. Make sure you always sit down on public transport. If you are not offered a seat, ask for one. Some train operators offer first-class seats to pregnant season-ticket holders, if standard-class carriages are full.
In London, pregnant women who use the underground are entitled to priority seats and can wear a special baby-on-board badge to let other passengers know they may need a seat. Don't feel embarrassed. Most people are more than willing to give up their seats, they just need reminding!
8. Money matters
There's no doubt about it, having a baby can make a real dent in your finances. If you are worried about how you are going to afford everything, make a list of the items you think you need. Decide which ones you could borrow from friends or family.
You probably won't have to buy everything on your list. Some items, such as a Moses basket, are only useable for a couple of months. Don't forget that you can also buy many baby items second-hand. Our family finances section has plenty of ideas and you can share money-saving tips in the BabyCentre community.
Make sure you get your full entitlement of maternity leave and pay. Find out about any benefits that you are entitled to, such as the Sure Start maternity grant. If you're working, seek advice from your human resources manager. You can find out more on our rights and benefits pages.
9. Try complementary therapies
Massage is a fantastic way to de-stress. Read about massage techniques for labour. You and your partner could try them now. This will be relaxing for you, and give him plenty of practice before the big day! If you are using essential oils in aromatherapy massage or other treatments, it's important to make sure they are safe for use in pregnancy.
You can also learn about massage through National Childbirth Trust antenatal classes or Active Birth workshops. Bear in mind that you'll have to pay for these sessions. Many spas and beauty salons provide pregnancy massage treatments.
Another therapy you may find useful is reflexology, which uses pressure points in your feet to treat you. Make sure your therapist is qualified and experienced in working with pregnant women.
Meditation and positive visualisation techniques, which are also used in yoga, can help. Meditation is a way of relaxing by concentrating your mind on one thing. Positive visualisation is a type of meditation, whereby you create an inner picture of a peaceful scene. Try our garden visualisation and see if it works for you. Choose a time when you know you won't be disturbed and try to give yourself at least 30 minutes. This may really benefit you, and it doesn't cost a penny!
10. Treat yourself
Laughter is one of the body's best ways of relaxing. So meet up with friends, watch a funny DVD with your partner, or go to the cinema. If you can afford it, go on a weekend break and make the most of your time together.
Pregnancy is also the perfect time to treat yourself to all those beauty treatments you never normally splash out on. If your bump gets too big for you to cut your toenails, have a pedicure. If you're saving money, create your own mini spa at home. Be nice to yourself. You deserve it.
1. Make time to rest
Take time out for yourself. It's good for you and your baby, so don't feel guilty about it. At work, find somewhere to put your feet up and relax during your lunch break. Once you're home, try to cut down on chores.
If you're feeling exhausted, go to bed early. Your body is working hard to nourish your growing baby and needs all the sleep it can get.
If you're already a mum it can be very hard to find the time to rest. It's a good idea to ask your partner, a friend or grandparents to look after your child or children for an afternoon, while you have a well-earned break.
2. Talk about it
If you're worried about whether your baby is healthy, whether he will be born safely, or whether you're up to the task of parenthood, you're not alone. You can turn to your midwife for reassurance about your baby's well-being. But talk to your partner, too. Discussing your worries can make you both feel better.
Don't forget that friends and family members can provide good support. You may meet other mums-to-be at the same stage of pregnancy as you, perhaps at an antenatal or parenting class. It's likely that at least some of them will be having the same feelings as you.
You could create your own support network online. Why not share your concerns with mums-to-be in the BabyCentre community?
3. Eat well
Eating well is good for your mind as well as your body. A healthy diet which includes plenty of omega-3 essential fatty acids, vitamins and minerals, can lift your mood.
It's thought that the essential amino acid tryptophan can raise levels of the chemicals melatonin and serotonin in your brain. Melatonin and serotonin help you to sleep well and boost your feelings of well-being. Tryptophan is found naturally in many foods, including nuts and seeds, which are easy to snack on.
You don't have to do anything extreme with your diet to make sure you get all these helpful nutrients. Good sources include oily fish, fruit, nuts, seeds, dairy products, lean meat and poultry, grains and vegetables.
4. Get some exercise
Exercise can really improve your mood. It's quite safe to exercise during pregnancy, as long as the activities you do are not too vigorous. Swimming is ideal, as it keeps you toned, without being too hard on your joints.
Pregnancy yoga not only tones and stretches your body, but teaches you breathing, relaxation and meditation techniques. These techniques are good for helping you to quell your anxieties.
Try to build exercise into your daily life. At work, get up and walk around regularly, especially if you are desk-bound. Pop out at lunchtime for some fresh air, even if it's only for 10 minutes.
5. Prepare for birth
You may be worrying about what labour will be like. How will you handle the pain? How will your partner cope? Learn more about what happens during labour by signing up for antenatal classes. And have a look at our labour and birth section.
If you're having a planned caesarean, talk to your midwife or obstetrician about what will happen on the day. Drawing up a caesarean birth plan can help you feel more confident and in control.
If you are having your baby in hospital or at a birth centre, you may be able to visit the delivery suite beforehand. If a real tour is not an option, a virtual tour should be on offer. Knowing what to expect from the place where you will have your baby can set your mind at rest. It will also help you draw up your birth plan.
If your fear of birth is so overwhelming that you would rather have a caesarean than a vaginal birth, talk to your midwife or doctor. With the right support, you can be helped to overcome your doubts.
6. Prepare for family life
It's quite natural to worry about how having a baby will affect your relationship with your partner or how you will cope as a parent. Parenting is something you learn along the way. If you have any friends with young babies, you could spend time with them to pick up useful tips.
Perhaps you're stressed about your finances, job, relationship or housing? See our list of organisations and support groups you can contact for advice. Take a look at our section on caring for a newborn, to give you a head start.
7. Commuting strategies
Most women carry on working until just a few weeks before their due date. Commuting can be a major source of stress, and it gets worse the more heavily pregnant you are.
Ask your employer if you can avoid rush hours, perhaps start and finish earlier than usual. Make sure you always sit down on public transport. If you are not offered a seat, ask for one. Some train operators offer first-class seats to pregnant season-ticket holders, if standard-class carriages are full.
In London, pregnant women who use the underground are entitled to priority seats and can wear a special baby-on-board badge to let other passengers know they may need a seat. Don't feel embarrassed. Most people are more than willing to give up their seats, they just need reminding!
8. Money matters
There's no doubt about it, having a baby can make a real dent in your finances. If you are worried about how you are going to afford everything, make a list of the items you think you need. Decide which ones you could borrow from friends or family.
You probably won't have to buy everything on your list. Some items, such as a Moses basket, are only useable for a couple of months. Don't forget that you can also buy many baby items second-hand. Our family finances section has plenty of ideas and you can share money-saving tips in the BabyCentre community.
Make sure you get your full entitlement of maternity leave and pay. Find out about any benefits that you are entitled to, such as the Sure Start maternity grant. If you're working, seek advice from your human resources manager. You can find out more on our rights and benefits pages.
9. Try complementary therapies
Massage is a fantastic way to de-stress. Read about massage techniques for labour. You and your partner could try them now. This will be relaxing for you, and give him plenty of practice before the big day! If you are using essential oils in aromatherapy massage or other treatments, it's important to make sure they are safe for use in pregnancy.
You can also learn about massage through National Childbirth Trust antenatal classes or Active Birth workshops. Bear in mind that you'll have to pay for these sessions. Many spas and beauty salons provide pregnancy massage treatments.
Another therapy you may find useful is reflexology, which uses pressure points in your feet to treat you. Make sure your therapist is qualified and experienced in working with pregnant women.
Meditation and positive visualisation techniques, which are also used in yoga, can help. Meditation is a way of relaxing by concentrating your mind on one thing. Positive visualisation is a type of meditation, whereby you create an inner picture of a peaceful scene. Try our garden visualisation and see if it works for you. Choose a time when you know you won't be disturbed and try to give yourself at least 30 minutes. This may really benefit you, and it doesn't cost a penny!
10. Treat yourself
Laughter is one of the body's best ways of relaxing. So meet up with friends, watch a funny DVD with your partner, or go to the cinema. If you can afford it, go on a weekend break and make the most of your time together.
Pregnancy is also the perfect time to treat yourself to all those beauty treatments you never normally splash out on. If your bump gets too big for you to cut your toenails, have a pedicure. If you're saving money, create your own mini spa at home. Be nice to yourself. You deserve it.
What if I still feel
stressed?
Find out all you can about
pregnancy and being a new mum. Arming yourself with knowledge can help take
away the worries that grow out of uncertainty. Read pregnancy books, search
BabyCentre, and listen to your friends' stories. But don't delve into all of
the things that can go wrong. They're unlikely to happen to you. Instead, focus
on how you're feeling and what's happening to you right now.
If you already have depression, it's likely to make your worries worse. If your stress levels have risen to the point where you can no longer cope, talk to your midwife or GP. Your GP may be able to refer you to a support group, counsellor or psychotherapist. She may be able to arrange for you to have cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), although this isn't yet available everywhere in the country. CBT can teach you every-day coping strategies for tackling anxiety.
It's a good idea to get the help you need now. It will mean that your support networks and coping strategies are in place for when your baby is born.
If you already have depression, it's likely to make your worries worse. If your stress levels have risen to the point where you can no longer cope, talk to your midwife or GP. Your GP may be able to refer you to a support group, counsellor or psychotherapist. She may be able to arrange for you to have cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), although this isn't yet available everywhere in the country. CBT can teach you every-day coping strategies for tackling anxiety.
It's a good idea to get the help you need now. It will mean that your support networks and coping strategies are in place for when your baby is born.