1. Eating can be an effort
Between so-called “morning
sickness,” all those no-nos and trying to eat a diet rich in healthy foods that
help your baby grow, deciding what to eat can be a complicated
prospect. Now that a menu has become a minefield, you will have a new
appreciation for the days when ordering lunch was not a feat of major mental
gymnastics.
2. Everybody's got an opinion
You’ll be getting pregnancy
advice from a wide range of sources: your doctor or midwife, your pregnancy
guides, your family and friends and your neighbor three doors down. Keep in
mind that what you’re hearing may have more to do with the person who’s saying
it than with you — people like to relay their own experiences. Your healthcare
provider’s advice is most important, but ultimately each woman needs to filter
everything she hears and make her own choices.
3. You may be a glowing
goddess…or not
There are women for whom
pregnancy is a source of beauty, charisma and energy. And then there are women
who feel dumpy and miserable and can’t wait to get their bodies back to some
semblance of “normal.” Most women probably fall somewhere in the middle. Your
body image and sexuality will most likely run the gamut over the 40 weeks.
Pregnancy can be a boon or a bane for the sex life, depending on how pregnancy
affects your libido — and your partner’s. One thing that can help: avoid the
parade of perfect bumps in magazines; real pregnancy is not
airbrushed!
4. Don’t worry about worrying
Just hearing how stress can
negatively affect pregnancy can be stressful! It’s appropriate to feel some
level of stress and anxiety, and research is actually showing a moderate amount
is good for the baby’s development. The kind of stress that can cause problems
during pregnancy is large-scale stuff that doesn’t happen very often, like wars
and deaths in the family. Run-of-the-mill worrying is not dangerous!
5. Pregnancy weight depends on the individual
The question of how much
weight you’ll gain and whether you’ll be able to lose it depends on a huge
range of factors. This is why the blanket weight gain recommendations can be
confusing. The best way to approach the issue of pregnancy weight gain is to
aim for a healthy diet and stay active. An open dialogue with your care
provider about exercise and weight gain is an important part of the process.
6. Try to avoid risks, but don’t panic
Science has been turning up
lots of scary studies in recent years, and all this info can put lots of
pressure on a pregnant mom to try to dodge every toxin on the block.Trying
to protect your baby is a good impulse, but you can drive yourself nuts trying,
and inevitably failing, to avoid every single infinitesimal risk. As much as
you want to do a perfect job of protecting your baby, you’re only human, and
you can’t control the universe. Chances are very good that your baby will be
just fine.
7. Moodiness may be more than hormones
Pregnancy is a time of joy,
but it can also be a time of complicated emotions. Ambivalence is normal.
Persistent negative thoughts, however, are a sign of clinical depression or
anxiety, which is as common during pregnancy as it is after birth. It’s
important to discuss these conditions with your healthcare provider or a mental
health professional to avoid risks to mother and baby. There are a number of
effective treatment options.
Birth is an inherently
unpredictable event, so trying to plan it out is not likely to change the
outcome. Though a birth plan is a great way to communicate your desires, if
it’s too strict, it can lead to disappointment. A birth plan that doesn’t work
out to the letter can contribute to feelings of failure after childbirth, even
if the birth goes okay otherwise.
9. Don’t sweat the arrival
A new baby actually requires
very little in the way of gear. You, on the other hand, might find your blood
pressure calms with every dedicated baby gadget you add to your registry. Ask
around to see what people found most useful…and most useless. But remember that
this stuff is subjective; one mom’s clutter is another mom’s necessity.
10. Pregnancy is practice for parenthood
You learn how to deal with
interrupted sleep and how to think about someone else’s needs. You’ll start to
think about the kind of parent you want to be. You’ll face some tough decisions
that could require partner negotiations. You may even begin to feel the
beginnings of maternal instinct. The repulsion you feel at the sight of that
tuna roll? It’s actually a self-protective urge. You might want to listen to
it.